📜 OFFICIAL PETITION
To: The Supreme Poster
Subject: Regulation of Excessive Instagram Broadcasting
Petitioner:
The Mentally Overstimulated Public
Respondent:
saanvi 🤡
Also known as: “24/7 Live Telecast Channel”
WHEREAS:
- saanvi has demonstrated extraordinary dedication to posting content at intervals shorter than global WiFi refresh rates;
- The Instagram feed of innocent civilians has been converted into a full-time saanvi Broadcasting Network;
- Instagram servers are allegedly under emotional pressure;
- Human thumbs have suffered repetitive scrolling fatigue due to 37+ consecutive story uploads;
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED THAT:
- Daily posting shall be limited to a reasonable number of stories (definition subject to negotiation).
- Story uploads exceeding 12 segments shall require public warning.
- Multiple selfies from identical angles shall be merged into one official edition.
- “Bored”, “random”, “ugh”, and food updates must undergo a mandatory 30-minute reflection period before posting.
PROPOSED CONSEQUENCES (If Violated):
- Temporary Story Suspension
- Meme-Based Teasing
- Immediate Muting (Nuclear Option ☢️)
EFFECTIVE DATE:
Immediately, because this is getting out of hand.
Signed,
Vedansh Kesariya
Founder, Scroll Survivors Association
